So yeh as I was saying before I was interrupted... This has gone on a few days I'm fine eating dry food but if I'm honest I do want some rabbit in jelly… or some tuna..., Mmmmmmmmm tuna.

I digress. Mum and dad have let me in to their bedroom a few times, that's fun. I like going in to mum tall cupboard thing and making all her shoes spill on to the floor. It's really funny watching her scratch her head and mutter under her breath. I like hiding behind the twirly unit in the corner too, they can't get me there heheheheh.

Yesterday mum had the cheek to try and mix felix with tesco's own's food. I'm not stupid woman! Don't be thinking I'm gonna eat that crap!

Auntie Hellen came to see me and said I've grown and my coat looks all floofy and shiney. I felt pretty proud coz I've been really trying to look better and my ass doesn't look so big in this coat. She took some pictures of me for Auntie K. She took that cat carrier back as well, hehehe I was glad bout that, I'm not going to any vet again. Not that it was bad last time really but on principle I'm going to hate it. It's cat's perogative!

So yeh been doing quite a lot since my last update, I'm getting quite content here which isn't good. Dad has a saying "never be content or you'll die" for once I agree with the beardy hippy.

Now I'm getting stronger after auntie Hellen and auntie Karina nursed me back top heath I'm feeling fabulous. It's kinda weird. I was really happy at their place, cept for that bloody other bully, little man but now this is all mine and it's a new kinda happy. It's hard to remember that I was a wee bedraggled timid thing brought in from the cold and poorly by Auntie K.

So anyway, I decided this week my humans were getting complacent these days and I'm not a novelty anymore. I don't buy that people, I'm a cat, I decide when you leave me alone not you.

Fools.

So when they came in with a load of shopping on Saturday afternoon I knew what I was going to do and operation refuse food commenced. See most people underestimate cats, put us in the same category as those dumb ass dog creatures but wake up... it ain't so. Fido may eat shit, YOU may eat shit but me? I like Felix.

Not tesco own brand of goo.

So mum comes to put me to be which is one of my favourite times, She always gives me hugs then fills my water, the dry food and the meaty bits up so I can chow on them and then keep them awake for an our clawing at the door and meowing. Saturday night was particularly quiet, Mum and Dad went to auntie Ali and uncle Sef's leaving me to play in catnip heaven on my scratching post (cept don't tell them it's more fun top make them think I don't play on that at all mowahahahaha)

They came in after a while and watched bravo on tv. I like this tv thing it has lots of movement and colour. I wasn't impressed though. There was this programme on about 'porn' I don't know what porn is but all the humans on the tv had no clothes on like mum when she goes in the shower. And Dad kept commenting on their boobs. I don't know what boobs are either but I guessed they were the comfy things I snuggle up to on mum. So we watched that... thing it I don't get the fuss... I got more boobs than all of those humans!

Anyhow eventually they decided to go to bed so I got my cuddle then mum went to get my food and put it down giving me a little sratch behind the ear like she does..., Cept..no no this crap ain't felix. It's cheap imitation crap like a bad curry!

She wasn't happy when she got up the next day and I'd not eaten anything and mentioned the fact that if her and dad can live on tesco's own I can. I don’t know who this tesco's own human is but they best not show their face in these parts. I'm not eating that crap. It got marginally better when mum put parmesan cheese on it but why stoop I say. She will crack and buy me felix.

The cat here... finally found five minutes to get on this machine and write more.

things are settling in nicely here, the humans love having me and I'm making them really happy by scratching their sofa to bits. Mum's got this spray she put on it which is minging... I don't like it but I'll be fucked if i let it beat me. I can't go near it it's too vile so I'm not best pleased. I refuse to be forced in to using that bloody post with rope on.

i'm an individual! I'll wait till it wears off a bit

Anyhow i get my revenge in small ways... like walking on mum with my claws sticking out... she loves that especially when she's got hot 'tea' in her hand. I like tea i found some of dad's the other day and decided it was quite palatable... makes me krazy tho...!

I am really curious about the space my humans disappear in to leaving me alone all day... I wonder what's out there. Looks like a corridor but i can't really get a good look.

Dads a big meanie.. he always makes me get down off the sofa when he's eating his food. I don't see why I only want to LOOK at it... honest. Mum always gives me some kitty treats tho if i do stay down so I'm not on to a bad thing I don't think just sometimes i just have to have a look, it smells too weird... nothing at all like my taste cod and plaice in jelly with crunchy bits.

Phase 2 of the fish plan started last night. I discovered that there is another side to the fish tank... round the back. I can get down there. dad wasn't pleased and hauled me out by my tail. If I can distract the humans long enough I think I can find a way to get those damn fish out. I was being cool trying to do that last night and totally lost my footing and fell off the table... I don 't think anyone noticed because I shot under the sofa and then looked like I came in through the door really casually... no worries.

Best go...

well it's been a while since my last update. My humans have been around too much! Monday i was still pissed coz they put me in the cold. My dad was poorly and my mum spent the day trying to suck up to me by playing with me and giving me lots of cuddles. That's fine but she plays to my tune, you know whaddamsayin?

poor sucker.

Anyhow today I've been climbing on things a lot more and making sure the poo in my tray is big and smelly. They never cotton on that it's me farting either... they just waft their stupid hands alot and say "pooooh" and blame each other for having something called 'bad bowels'

strange thse humans are. I decided to try them out tonight when they were sitting on the sofa just about the fall asleep i figured my mum needed waking up so i pounced on her hair. I've never seen anyone leap so high. Even Little Man didn't jump that high. heheheheh revenge was even sweeter when I peed on he jobs echo dad was loking through. Mum keeps saying it's because I'm only ickle and could've mistaken it for my litter.... i think thats bollox, i did it on purpoise but I'm not gonna tell her that.

Things pretty much carried on that way. They put something round me neck the other day.... i wasn't much impressed but I suppose I'll keep it on to keep them happy. Dad said it's a 'collar' dunno what that is, I'm a cat but still it jingles all the time...i think they're trying to keep track of me. Little do they know I'm gonna stuff the bell with cotton wool and take it off when they least expect it... i will not be beaten i tell you.

The room I'm in is way mine now, I have my own den in it and mum doesn't seem to mind the fact i climb the curtains in there... it's not like they're sewn at the bottom anyway.... she's too cheap to have that done i think, still it means I have fun and that thing they hang the washing on.... that's fantastic for climbing on... i pull their washing on to the floor at the same time but I have to say that's not my number one objective here.

Auntie Julia and uncle Jon came round last night and played with me for hours... that was fun. i was knackered an aunite julia kept taking 'pictures'. i'm not sure what pictures are but i hope they don't try anything stupid. i'd hate to have to wreck their fave coat.

uh best go... dads comin...

blimey... don't like it much here... last night my humans had people round so they shut the door on me! I mean! I'm only little and this IS MY turf... the cheek. I was left out in the cold for hours!!!! Auntie caiti was doing some stuff with mad hair on my mum... i wanted to eat it but uncle dave decided it was more funny to tie that infernal mouse toy to my tail to distract me. i didn't get on to this fast enough i don't think...next time tho i'm gonna shred his jacket...he won't be mean to me again in a while!

eventually mum let me in and she had weird stuff in her hair that auntie caiti was fiddling with and then they left and she put me in the spare room again.. I mean it was on to phase two for get the bastard fish... I had it all planned ut cept I couldn't get through the damn door. Must remind myself to steal the saw next time mum leaves the tool cupboard open.

I got my revenge tho... left a niiiiice big smelly poo in the litter tray for my mum when she got up in the morning.

She wasn't impressed when she had to get uo to make dads lunch and fond that and the fragrant aroma wafting round the kitchen... i just sat in my bed in the dust sheets in the spare room and laughed!

ahh i win!

Hello, my name is Izzy and I'm a red smoke persian cat aged 3 months.

I've recently been given a new home by my auntie H because she already has a cat. I was a bit dubious really bout that whole thing to be honest.. I may look small but I'm no ones fool.

I mean the way I look at it I was quite comfy in auntie H's, her bedroom's wicked for playing in and aside from that pain in the arse cat Little Man who used to pick on me I was pretty happy there. auntie H never scrimped on hugs.

uncle Snarlie was gonna buy me a diamond collar... reckon I'da been quids in there if my new human hadn't come to take me away. I wasn't impressed and tried to hide... what can I say diamonds are a girls best friend.

Anyway... now i'm in this new place... it's actually ok, bigger than the last one and a whole room for me to climb on things in... they have this fish thing too in the corner... I'm too little at the moment and my humans think it's comical to watch me watching them with my paws against the glass but I've got the blue prints sorted for a super machine to get those bastards out.

Gotta sleep now... my mum and Dad are coming back from Tesco...hopefully with loads of food for me... i forgot to tell them I eat for britain. If they found out I could type i'd be locked out of the lounge while they went out and that'd suck!